Skip Novak, Ullman Sails Brand Ambassador

From the lofty heights of sails and rigging, let’s lower way into the uncomfortable discussion of the marine toilet – the ‘head’ as it’s known to true seafarers.

We have all been through it.  Other than abandoning ship there is nothing worse than a head’s blockage – especially offshore – and especially if you have only a single head as the blockage needs to be dealt with no matter the weather.  Like all things on boats, when heading off on a cruise it is best to anticipate this failure as it will inevitably happen at some point.

A domestic plunger is the first asset. If that does the trick you will clearly hear your own sigh of relief.  Let’s assume that’s a no go.  Second, a skilled hand with the right pressure on the pump handle might force the blockage through; however, a beginner without that finesse can cause an unpleasant explosion.

If this happens, or if it is clearly a breakdown job, you need rubber gloves, buckets and the right tools on hand.  You’ll also need a ‘second’ outside the head door to push the tools in and empty the buckets over the side.

“But what can I do to ensure I never have to deal with this?” I hear you saying.  Sadly no matter how much you prep the crew and guests on board to avoid a blockage, breaking down the head is a part of life at sea – unless you are prepared to force the ship’s company to ‘hang it over the side’ off the pushpit (which to be fair is not a bad solution if the plumbing is in doubt, but wear a life harness for this maneuver).

Most boats have a laminated crib sheet that we can read when latched on.  But by then it might all be too late.  My advice, which I repeat continually through the cruise as it is soon forgotten when complacency sets in, is to test the head before you use it. Flush it through to make sure it is clear to go.  Give it a good ten pumps or so to put your mind at rest.  Why?!  For the simple reason that you will compound the problem if the person who was in there just before had blocked it.  They can easily slip out unnoticed and you might struggle to get anyone to admit to being the culprit to sort it out, or at least to lend a hand, while on the wind in a big sea.  Human nature it’s called.